5 Ways to Wreck Your Life Without Even Realising It

The subtle ways you’re sabotaging everything that matters

Let’s play a dangerous game.

It’s called: How to Ruin Your Life Without Meaning To.

Spoiler: most of us are already playing it. Quietly. Accidentally. While replying to emails you don’t care about. Saying “yes” when you mean “please leave me alone.” Wondering when life will finally feel like yours again.

Here’s the twist no one warns you about:

It doesn’t slow down. Not on its own. Unless you slam the brakes. Look around. And ask: “Wait… what the hell am I even doing?”

This isn’t a guilt trip. It’s a flashlight. Let’s shine it on the 5 biggest ways we mess up our lives. In ways that feel totally normal.

And how to wake up before we sleepwalk into regret.

1. Forgetting what time it is

Not what time on the clock. What time in your life.

I got this wake-up call reading The Five Types of Wealth by Sahil Bloom. He mentions to friend he visits his parents once a year. Just once. No big deal. Until his mate does the math:

“So… you’ll see them maybe 15 more times in your life?”

Oof.

That sentence rearranged his whole existence. He packed up, moved closer to his parents. Because suddenly, “one visit a year” looked a lot like “fifteen goodbyes.”

Here’s what hit me: Not all time is created equal.

If your kids still live at home? This is it. The peak. These are the years they’re under your roof, eating your cereal, needing your hugs (even if they pretend not to). One day they’ll leave. And the hours will never be this fat again.

If you’re working full-time, your coworkers might be the people you spend most of your waking life with. If you’re married, the post-retirement years? That’s your person. For better or for binge-watching.

So here’s the question: Are you investing your time where it’s richest — or where it’s just the loudest?

Because here’s the thing about time:

You can’t rewind it. You can only wake up to it.

2. Refusing to change your mind

Here’s a question we don’t ask enough:

When’s the last time you changed your mind? Like, really changed it. On something that mattered. Not whether you wanted Thai or tacos.

Most of us treat our beliefs like family heirlooms. Precious. Untouchable. Even when they’re cracked, broken, or completely out of style. We cling. Because changing your mind feels a little like saying: “I was wrong.” (aka the hardest three-word sentence in the English language.)

For example: I used to think money was bad. That wanting more of it made you greedy. Unspiritual. Like Jeff Bezos in a monk robe. Then I realised: Money’s just a tool. One that lets you rest more. Give more. Create more impact. But only if you stop being weird about it.

That shift didn’t happen overnight. It happened because I got curious. Not just about what I believed but why. And here’s what I found:

When you stop needing to be right, you start becoming wise.

3. Being inconsistent

Inconsistency doesn’t crash your life like a crisis.

It’s sneakier than that. It just quietly eats away at everything you meant to build. While you’re busy starting over. Again. Want to know how I grew a writing audience to 29,000 followers?

I wrote when no one was reading.

Every day. For a year. No applause. No comments. Just me, a keyboard and the haunting thought: Why am I even doing this?

But here’s what I’ve learned: Consistency always feels pointless… at the start. You don’t get the reward right away. You get it later. If you stick around long enough to collect it. Like saving money. Or praying. Or eating broccoli when you'd rather eat regret.

Want a great marriage? Be consistent.
Want rich friendships? Be consistent.
Want a soul that doesn’t feel like a dried-out sponge? Yep. You already know.

You don’t have to do everything. You just have to keep doing the right things long enough for them to work.

4. Not setting boundaries

Here’s a messy truth they don’t teach in school: You’re allowed to say no.

Full stop. No explanation. No guilt trip. No 37-paragraph apology. If someone’s always late with their work? That’s their circus, not your emergency. If a friend treats you like their emotional landfill? You’re not contractually obligated to haul their drama.

Here’s what finally made that click for me: A few years ago, someone asked me to help them with a project. I didn’t have the capacity — but I said yes anyway. (Classic.) They missed every deadline. Changed the scope three times. Sent 3am texts like “quick favour?” By the end, I was frazzled, resentful, and still cleaning up their mess.

Wanna guess the worst part? I was never mad at them. I was mad at me. For saying yes when I should’ve said nope. For being so worried about disappointing them that I completely disappointed myself.

Here’s the image I keep now: My life is a front yard. People will toss over their trash. Not to be cruel, just because it’s convenient. But if I don’t say, “Hey, this isn’t mine,” I’ll be knee-deep in other people’s junk.

I’ve realised that if it’s not your trash, it’s not your job to carry it. Because if you don’t set the boundary, they will.

And trust me, it’ll benefit them, not you.

5. Doing what you’ve always done… and expecting different results

This one feels obvious. But it’s sneaky.

We say we want change. We say we want a better life. But most of us live on autopilot and secretly hope the universe just… sorts it out for us.

“I hope my marriage improves.”
“I hope I feel less anxious.”
“I hope I finally write that book.”

Hope is lovely. But hope without action is just daydreaming with better PR. If nothing changes… nothing changes. Here’s a personal one: For years, I said I wanted more peace. But I still checked my phone first thing. Still said yes to things that drained me. Still filled every spare moment with noise, scrolling, or “just one more thing.”

I wanted the fruit of change. Without planting anything new. Which is like wanting six-pack abs… while eating cake in the bath. So here’s the real question: Where are you craving transformation without changing a single thing?

• Your finances?

• Your health?

• Your relationships?

This isn’t about going on a guilt trip. It’s about doing one thing differently today. So tomorrow isn’t just a prettier version of the same old stuck.

Wishing is cute. But if you want a different life, you’re gonna have to interrupt the one you’re living.

So… what happens now?

This list isn’t here to shame you. It’s here to wake you up.

Because most lives don’t fall apart with a bang. They unravel quietly. One ignored truth at a time.

Let this be your interruption. Your fork in the road.

✨ Time is short. Spend it on what (and who) matters.
✨ Curiosity beats certainty. Every time.
✨ Consistency wins. Eventually.
✨ Boundaries aren’t rude. They’re required.
✨ Your life won’t shift itself. You’ve got to move.

You don’t have to burn it all down. You just have to stop doing the stuff that’s wrecking you. Start with one small change. Then another. Then another.

And if you need a nudge? You know where to find me.

You’re not too far gone. But don’t wait until you are.

Feel like life’s rushing by? A Little Nudge helps you slow down and actually live it. Subscribe for weekly prompts to live more on purpose.

Derek