I was doing all the “right” things.
Up early. Staying productive. Saying yes to every good opportunity. But under the surface? I felt behind. Burned out. Wired but weirdly tired. Like I was living life with no room to live.
Then I read this line:
"Your margin has been stolen." — Richard A. Swenson
And it hit me: This wasn’t just my problem. It was everyone’s. We’ve been sold a lie dressed as wisdom: that a full calendar means a full life. That busyness equals value. But what if the real secret to meaning... is space?
Here are 5 truths from Richard Swenson’s book Margin that hit like a cold glass of water to the soul. If you’re always doing but never breathing.
These are for you.
1. Progress is the thief that dresses like a gift
We were promised progress would set us free.
More is better. Faster is smarter. Busier means you matter. But here’s the bait-and-switch:
“The spontaneous flow of progress is toward increasing stress, change, complexity, speed, intensity, and overload.” — Richard Swenson
We’re drowning in things that were supposed to make life easier. And the worst part is we call it success. We applaud as we sink. We worship the upgrade, even when it robs us blind.
Take email. It made communication faster than ever. No envelopes. No stamps. No licking. Just type and send. It should’ve given us more time. Instead, it gave us more messages.
Progress didn’t liberate us. It shackled us to constant pings and shallow tasks. Here’s the truth no one’s saying:
Progress is not neutral. Unless you protect yourself, it consumes your time, your attention, your soul.
2. Burnout isn’t a flaw. It’s a flare.
There’s a whisper in modern culture: If you’re tired, it’s your fault.
If you’re tired, you must be lazy. Fragile. Not cut out for the pace. So we push through. Again and again. Until one day, getting out of bed feels like lifting a mountain. Everything is heavy. Not because you’ve failed. But because your body is waving a red flag.
It’s not saying you’re weak. It’s saying please stop before I make you. You see exhaustion isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a warning sign we don’t see.
Last year, I bought a Whoop watch. It gives me a colour-coded energy score every morning:
🟢 Green = go.
🔴 Red = rest.
Some days, I still override it. Because productivity culture trained me to feel guilty for listening to my body. But ignoring the signal never works out well. Here’s the truth: You don’t need more grit. You need grace.
To pause
To say no
To rest without shame.
Your exhaustion isn’t a defect. It’s a message.
And if you don’t listen? It will get louder.
3. The tools that promised freedom… and stole your life
We fall for it every time:
New planner. New app. New time saving device.
"This will finally fix my life."
But the real cost? We never count it. The time to learn it. The stress to keep up with it. The trap of feeling behind again.
Why? Because we rarely stop to count the real cost. You think this new tool will “give you your time back”? Thoreau tried that line on himself 150 years ago. He wanted a horse and cart to speed up travel. Walking took too long. A cart made sense. Until he did the math:
The cart cost money.
Money required work.
Work took time.
By the time he earned enough to buy the cart? He could’ve walked to his destination and back. Dozens of times. What was supposed to save time… actually stole it.
Sound familiar? We do the same. We see the benefit. Ignore the cost. Then wonder why we’re always busy and still behind. That’s what tech does. It sells you speed, then steals your peace.
Here’s what I try to remember before buying anything that promises “to save me time”:
How long will I need to work to afford this?
How long will it take to learn to use it properly?
What are the future costs to maintain or repair it?
We’re not addicted to our tools. We’re addicted to the illusion of control. The myth that if we just "optimize" harder, we’ll finally be free.
We won’t. Unless we stop believing the lie.
4. Love doesn’t thrive in a hurry
A bunch of seminary students were asked to prep a talk on the Good Samaritan. You know, the story about helping strangers and loving your neighbour.
Then came the twist: Half were told to take their time walking to the next building. The other half? Told they were late and needed to hurry. On the way, every single one of them passed someone in distress.
Guess who stopped to help? The ones not in a rush. Turns out, compassion isn’t just about character. It’s about capacity. You might know the right thing to do. But without margin, you won’t do it.
“Margin exists for relationship.”
Without it, love suffocates. You might be physically present with the people you love. But are you emotionally available? Are you kind? Attentive? Patient?
Or are you giving them the version of you who’s maxed out, checked out, and snapping because someone left the kitchen light on?
You weren’t made to live like a machine. And the people who love you? They’re not asking for productivity.
They’re asking for you.
5. Rest isn’t the treat. It’s the foundation.
“We don’t rest because our work is done; we rest because God commanded it.”
This messed me up in the best way. I treated rest like dessert. Only allowed once I’d earned it. Crossed everything off the list. Which sounds fine. Until you realise the list never ends. And neither does the guilt.
That’s when it hit me. Rest isn’t a prize for productivity. It’s the starting point.
It’s what makes presence possible.
What makes love sustainable.
What makes you human again.
You don’t rest because you’ve earned it. You rest because you were made to.
Before you scroll away
If any of these hit a little too close to home, hear me:
You are not broken. You are being broken in by a system that confuses speed with significance. But you can wake up. You can walk away. You can choose space over spectacle.
So here’s the question:
Which of these 5 truths do you most want to believe — but secretly keep ignoring?
Drop it in the comments. No shame, no judgement. Just real talk.
I read every one.
Derek
Feel like life’s rushing by? A Little Nudge helps you slow down and actually live it. Subscribe for weekly prompts to live more on purpose.
Truth bump material. Like receiving acupuncture, uncomfortable, but a thankful jolt of being tuned back in. I feel a beautiful invite to a higher intuitive frequency.
The aha and sting of truth is like walking through nettles. Then only to appreciate that the very nettle sting helps alleviate
Allergies akin to social inflamation/fatigue that comes with disingenuous role playing, and over extending, there is a subtle grief of knowing many including loved ones, operate on such a limited bandwidth. Keep turning up the Dial Derek, I appreciate your depth and radical honesty.
A very thought provoking post. Some of us don't know how or when to stop and take a break. If we don't complete our daily "to-do" list we feel so agitated that we end up not sleeping most of the night. It becomes a vicious cycle. For me, it's like shooting myself in the foot and admiring my aim. Thanks for the reminder. :)