How I Stopped Worrying About My Future (An Easy Tactic Anyone Can Use)
The real reason you don't need to worry
I found myself staring at the ceiling at 3AM.
My mind was racing through job scenarios like a hamster on a wheel. Should I take that remote position? What about the one that needs a 90-minute commute?
And if I waited... well, what if nothing better came along and I ended up living in my parents' garage at 51? (Sorry, Mum.)
Each option spawned a dozen more problems to solve.
If I took the remote job, would I feel lonely? If I chose the commute, when would I see my family? And if I waited... well, what if nothing better came along?
My mind was doing its best impression of a chess computer—calculating every possible move and countermove.
But here's what hit me at 4AM:
I wasn't solving problems. I was creating them.
The trap of tomorrow
One brutal truth about being human is we're stuck in this moment.
You and I can't peek over the fence to see what's coming. But no matter how much we stretch. We remained firmly grounded in the present.
And we’ve got good reason to worry. Anything could happen in the next second. A text message. A job offer. A flat tire. Or the instant death of someone we love.
And that's terrifying.
So we try to control it by mentally rehearsing every possible scenario. We're trying to cross bridges before we even know if they exist—like packing snowshoes for a beach vacation "just in case."
But this creates two massive problems:
We don’t know all the bridges life will throw at us. Most of the challenges you'll face aren’t even on your radar yet. Life has a funny way of inventing new ones.
The only way to cross a bridge is... well by crossing it when you get there. Obvious I know. But how often do we stress over bridges still a mile down the road?
I learned this when job hunting last year. I obsessed over every detail:
How long the process would take
If I'd need to move or commute
Whether to sell my house or rent it
But no matter how hard I thought and prayed. The answer wasn't hiding.
The answer simply didn't exist yet- like trying to review a movie that hasn't been filmed.
Why worry is mental junk food
Hannah Arendt once wrote: "We strip each moment of its calm, unable to enjoy it. The future destroys the present."
You’ve felt it.
That holiday you couldn’t enjoy because you were thinking about work.
That family dinner ruined by worrying about money.
That Sunday dread before Monday’s meetings.
Worrying about tomorrow doesn't add a single useful thing to today. It just steals the peace you could be having right now. It's like paying for a five-star hotel room and then sleeping in the hallway.
I love how Jesus put it "Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" Matthew 6:27.
Simple answer: no.
(Though they might add a few gray hairs, which technically isn't the same thing).
It's like trying to drive by staring in the rearview mirror while also looking through binoculars at what might be miles ahead. Meanwhile, you're missing the actual road in front of you.
The power of this exact moment
Being stuck in the present can feel like a prison. But it’s actually our escape hatch. The way to find freedom by our crippling anxiety.
The only thing you can control is right now.
Realise this is your path to peace. In his usual profound way, Jesus said it best:"Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6:34
Read that again. He wasn't being dismissive. He was sharing a profound truth: your power exists in the present. You can’t fix tomorrow. But you can handle today.
Breaking the anxiety loop
For me, the breakthrough came when I realized most of my stress wasn't about solving problems. It was about trying to feel in control. Which was about as effective as trying to steer a roller coaster. From the back car. Blindfolded.
The remedy wasn't more planning. It was acceptance.
I couldn't know which job I'd get until I applied.
I couldn't know if I'd need to move until I had an offer.
I couldn't know if I'd like the job until I worked there.
It's not that I didn't know the answers. It's that the answers didn't exist yet.
So I started asking a different question: "What's the one thing I can do right now that moves me forward?"
Most days, that meant:
Updating one job application
Reading one chapter of a helpful book
Or sometimes, just getting a good night's sleep (revolutionary, I know)
And everything else? I had to let it go.
Freedom in surrender
The most powerful shift was this: Worry isn't preparation. It's just fear pretending to be productive.
Real preparation means:
Taking concrete actions today
Building resilience for whatever comes
Trusting yourself to handle the unknown bridges when you reach them
Does this mean I never worry now? Hell no. I'm human.
But when I catch myself spinning through endless "what-ifs," I bring myself back with a simple truth: I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Not because I'm lazy or avoiding responsibility, but because that's the only time I actually can cross it.
Everything else is just useless mental gymnastics.
So if you're lying awake tonight, running scenarios about a job, a relationship, your kids, or anything else in that foggy territory called "the future"—try this:
Ask yourself what small action you can take today, then let the rest go.
The future will still be there tomorrow. But you'll face it with more energy because you weren't exhausted fighting imaginary battles all night.
And sometimes the bravest thing you can do is simply show up for today and trust that tomorrow, God will give you what you need to face whatever comes.
Derek
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Hi Derek,
I just read your post, and I genuinely had to sit in silence after. It felt like someone across the world had cracked open the story I’ve been living... only you put words to it in a way that was raw, brave, and beautifully human.
We’re walking different paths, but what you’re doing with your voice and work resonates deeply with the transformation I’ve committed to in my own life. I'm building something called Quitter... a project about identity shift, letting go, and finally rewriting the story I’ve carried for years. Your journey is exactly the kind of example that makes this work feel necessary and possible.
More than anything, I just wanted to say I’m proud of what you’re creating. It’s rare, it’s real, and it’s reaching.
Keep going. I’m rooting for you.
Love it, Derek! What a great piece. Do you have any thoughts on how to respond when people share their worries about the future as if they were today’s problems? I’ve been struggling with that lately.
Years of therapy has definitely helped reduce my anxiety over the years, but last year I had to face real—not hypothetical—problems. That experience created a new baseline for me. And here’s what I’ve noticed this year:
• When people are caught up in their own anxiety, they often have no emotional resources left to support others. It was really hard to find anyone who had the capacity to listen to me, too. I was in constant pain and couldn’t sit for more than 30 minutes after hip surgery. That’s obviously hard to relate to unless you’ve experienced it yourself—but still. Then, when people share their fears about things that might happen in 10 years (like visa rule changes in the UK), and those fears keep them up at night, I just feel it’s such a waste of energy—for them, primarily.
• At the same time, I find it draining to listen to these worries. I often feel like there’s nothing I can do to help. Validate? Hold their hand? Say, “It’s going to be okay”? You do that once or twice, but then the cycle repeats with a new round of worries the following week. I get it—that’s how the brain works after trauma. You stay on alert. But I feel lost.
Distancing myself and avoiding people doesn’t feel like a real solution either. But in this “Age of Anxiety,” as the band Arcade Fire puts it, you kind of run out of people if you’re hoping to find someone who’s less anxious.